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Published — 4 May 2026 ⏭ Existential comics

Existential comics
Utilitarianism and Its Enemies

Utilitarianism and Its Enemies

PERSON: "You know, i've been thinking a lot about morality lately, and what if all it really amounts to is maximizing pleasure, and minimizing suffering? "

PERSON: "Oh really? You want to make the greatest possible happiness?? Well what if there was a monster who got super happy, did you ever think about that?"

PERSON: "Uh...no Nozick, i haven't?"

PERSON: "Well think about it, Bentham! Your stupid philosophy is totally unworkable!"

PERSON: "In this thought experiment, the monster is so jazzed up about everything that we have to give it literally all of our resources."

PERSON: "On the other side was five depressed zombies, huh? What then? Still want to make everyone so “happy?”"

PERSON: "Well...i don't..."

PERSON: "What if in another thought experiment he was tied to a trolley track."

PERSON: "Uh..."

PERSON: "Okay, well then i have a thought experiment of my own."

PERSON: "Oh yeah? Let's hear it, utility man!"

PERSON: "What?! ::::(-54 4462)What if we tried to make society good?"

PERSON: "What if we tried to organize society so that it was...good. Like a good society."

PERSON: "A good society? That would be immoral, unjust, and philosophically unsound."

PERSON: "My system is much better: unrestrained capitalism and eliminating the minimum wage. I hate having to pay my butler $7.25 an hour, when i suspect he is desperate enough to accept $4. Injustice!"

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