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Published — 14 September 2026 ⏭ Existential comics

Philosophy vs a Huge Angry Bull

PERSON: "Kant, Bentham...we are in trouble. it seems we are being chased by an angry bull, and yet - we haven't developed an ethical theory to cope with it! "

PERSON: "Oh no!"

PERSON: "Look, virtue is a temperance between extremes, we can't be foolhardy and fight the bull, nor can we be cowardly and run away!"

PERSON: "Which is why i will simply walk away calmly, and-"

PERSON: "Aristotle got it wrong, we have to convince the bull to act only in such a way that he can at the same time, will it to be a univers-"

PERSON: "Oww! I've been gored!"

PERSON: "Oh, no. I've been gored too."

PERSON: "What the? How did you get gored, Bentham?"

PERSON: "Oh no, i gored myself. Unlike you guys, i have a complete ethical system, and i calculated that the crowd will get more pleasure from my goring than i feel pain."

PERSON: "See, they love it!"

Published — 7 September 2026 ⏭ Existential comics

The Horny Universe Theory

PERSON: "Fermi's Paradox asks the question: why, in a universe so vast, do we seem to be alone? "

PERSON: "If intelligent life can evolve here, must it not evolve everywhere? Then where are their signs?"

PERSON: "Why can we not hear their radio signals, a billion civilizations with a trillion ideas, sent into space?"

PERSON: "Are we truly alone?"

PERSON: "Some have imagined that aliens, like ourselves, were able to project radio waves at nearly the same time as they created the atomic bomb, and destroyed themselves."

PERSON: "But this is stupid and wrong! Aliens didn't all blow themselves up with bombs for no reason."

PERSON: "Another thing was invented, besides the bomb, around the time of radio waves: birth control."

PERSON: "All civilizations eventually gain control over their own reproduction. And any species intelligent enough to create radio waves will be intelligent enough to realize that life is pointless!"

PERSON: "We don't see any signs of intelligent life, because all intelligent creatures have voluntarily ceased to exist. "

PERSON: "Like humanity, when given the choice, aliens will reach a point when the birthrates fall below replacement rates, and they die out."

PERSON: "Any questions?"

PERSON: "Yes, isn't this able to be overcome by sheer horniness?"

PERSON: "Yes, de Berauvoir, if an alien species were to develop a horniness sufficiently high, they may continue to propagate, even against their realization of meaninglessness."

PERSON: "Which is why, if my calculations are correct, any alien we encounter will be the horniess species imaginable, hornier than millions who died out."

PERSON: "I hope we encounter them, de Beauvior."

PERSON: "Me too, Sartre, me too."

Published — 31 August 2026 ⏭ Existential comics

The Case of Aristotle and Women's Teeth

PERSON: "Hume, did you know that Aristotle believed women had fewer teeth than men?"

PERSON: "Really, Bertrand Russell?"

PERSON: "Aristotle could have avoided the mistake of thinking that women have fewer teeth than men, by the simple device of asking Mrs. Aristotle to keep her mouth open while he counted. "

PERSON: "Well, it's not very scientific, is it, to simple pass along this fact without direct obvservation?"

PERSON: "No, i mean...are you implying that you...count your wife's teeth?"

PERSON: "Of course, i always count all women's teeth."

PERSON: "But...so how...do you know that matches men's teeth?"

PERSON: "I don't get it."

PERSON: "Well, i counted my own teeth."

PERSON: "Is that enough, one data point?"

PERSON: "No, i suppose not..."

Published — 24 August 2026 ⏭ Existential comics

Aliens Explain How Things Really Work

PERSON: "Greetings humans, we are the Greys, we have lived for a billion years across hundreds of Galaxies. "

PERSON: "Oh no, we don't know anything."

PERSON: "So you must have discovered every truth of the Universe."

PERSON: "But you've had billions of years to figure it out, how is that possible?"

PERSON: "Oh, well that's easy. You see there are basically two types of species. One type cares about things like truth, justice, morality, and other nerd shit like that. These speicies are called “truth seekers”."

PERSON: "The other type, our type, cares only about power and expansion. In replicating themselves and increasing their power to destroy others. We call these species the “power seekers”. That's us."

PERSON: "Whenever these two types of beings come into contact, the power seekers always win, wiping out the truth seekers."

PERSON: "God damn nerd. Anyway we are here to destroy your world and take your resources. We usually don't bother with the whole speech."

PERSON: "Wow, that was really insightful, you explained the whole system."

PERSON: "Thanks."

Published — 17 August 2026 ⏭ Existential comics

Socratic Religion

PERSON: "In 1675, Baruch Spinoza, having witnessed the endless wars caused by religious disputes decided to travel back in time. "

PERSON: "Blasphemers, you are slightly misinterpreting Jesus's answers! So we have to kill you all!"

PERSON: "Same to you, buddy!"

PERSON: "Do it! Write down that Socrates is God and he orders everyone to think for themselves!"

PERSON: "Now civilization will be able to progress with everyone working together towards the truth! There will be no need for violence."

PERSON: "Now write that down or i'll shoot your head off!"

PERSON: "You are asking questions in a slightly different way to us. So we have to kill you all!"

PERSON: "That's not a Socratic question!"

PERSON: "What the hell?! This is even dumber than before."

PERSON: "Although they do seem to have invented light sabres, so that's cool i guess."

PERSON: "Why shouldn't we do the same?"

Published — 10 August 2026 ⏭ Existential comics

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Published — 3 August 2026 ⏭ Existential comics

Cinderella's Dilemma

PERSON: "The glass slipper fits, you are the princess! "

PERSON: "So you will take me away from this life to the palace, where i will be waited on hand and foot in luxery?"

PERSON: "Right...so here's the thing. After the ball, when my coach turned into a pumpkin, i met an interesting man named Eugene Debs."

PERSON: "Of course, my dear, we'll have servants for everything!"

PERSON: "He was handing out pamhlets about something called “socialism”. He claimed a woman of virtue would not wish to rise from her rank, but rise with her rank."

PERSON: "I thought about all those long hours i spent washing floors, doing laundry, making meals. But isn't that how the working class live all the time? The maids, the servants, the peasants? "

PERSON: "So long story short, i've organized the peasants into a revolt. Also, the mice are Maoists now."

PERSON: "What?!"

PERSON: "Cinderelly, Cinderelly, sweep away the old world order, Cinerelly."

PERSON: "Hang the king!"

PERSON: "Kill the priests!"

PERSON: "Shoot the bourgeoisie!"

Published — 27 July 2026 ⏭ Existential comics

The Postmodernist Side of the Force

$PERSON: "Do NOT underestimate the Dark Side of the Force! " PERSON: "You will fall, just like, wait...the what now?" PERSON: "It is you who underestimate the power of the postmodernist side of the force!" PERSON: "The Postmodernist force." PERSON: "I've been reading a lot of French philosophy lately. Essentially they claim that we've lost any ability to conceptualize the world in simple terms like “light” and “dark”." PERSON: "The postmodern force wielder has the power to recognizes our fractured society can no longer believe that one single meta narrative will overcome all others, and save us." PERSON: "Okay, so how would you defeat me?" PERSON: "Well, we can also shoot fireballs." PERSON: "What...?" PERSON: "My defeat neither aids nor prevents mankind's ultimate destiny, because history is progressing towards nothing in particular."$

Published — 20 July 2026 ⏭ Existential comics