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Published — 7 September 2026 ⏭ Existential comics

Existential comics
The Horny Universe Theory

The Horny Universe Theory

PERSON: "Fermi's Paradox asks the question: why, in a universe so vast, do we seem to be alone? "

PERSON: "If intelligent life can evolve here, must it not evolve everywhere? Then where are their signs?"

PERSON: "Why can we not hear their radio signals, a billion civilizations with a trillion ideas, sent into space?"

PERSON: "Are we truly alone?"

PERSON: "Some have imagined that aliens, like ourselves, were able to project radio waves at nearly the same time as they created the atomic bomb, and destroyed themselves."

PERSON: "But this is stupid and wrong! Aliens didn't all blow themselves up with bombs for no reason."

PERSON: "Another thing was invented, besides the bomb, around the time of radio waves: birth control."

PERSON: "All civilizations eventually gain control over their own reproduction. And any species intelligent enough to create radio waves will be intelligent enough to realize that life is pointless!"

PERSON: "We don't see any signs of intelligent life, because all intelligent creatures have voluntarily ceased to exist. "

PERSON: "Like humanity, when given the choice, aliens will reach a point when the birthrates fall below replacement rates, and they die out."

PERSON: "Any questions?"

PERSON: "Yes, isn't this able to be overcome by sheer horniness?"

PERSON: "Yes, de Berauvoir, if an alien species were to develop a horniness sufficiently high, they may continue to propagate, even against their realization of meaninglessness."

PERSON: "Which is why, if my calculations are correct, any alien we encounter will be the horniess species imaginable, hornier than millions who died out."

PERSON: "I hope we encounter them, de Beauvior."

PERSON: "Me too, Sartre, me too."

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